with the years she lived, happiness  and disappointments, sadness and and Joyness

a heart she has, crashed into very small little pieces and spread out everywhere in this universe

without him knowing, he picked all these pieces put them all together and with a smile from his lips he removed the scars from her heart

her soul lost its shine, wander to the nowhere, and he brought it back to her body gave it a shine from his soul and it moved in her whole body giving it new color, color of life

she lost the spark of her eyes and from his eyes spark he gave one to her.

with all that, she won back her heart, soul, eyes and smile

how she cant fall in love with him after giving her all that

how he can fall in love with her and he doesnt know what he gave her

how she can live without him and everything that brought her back to life was given by him

with his leaving he will take it all with him, her heart will be broken again and will never be fixed.

she will lose her soul again and will never find it

she will lose the spark of her eyes and they will be forever dead

how she can ask him not to leave, when all what he wants is to leave

she will beg, if her begging will keep him.

how she can let him know that the day he tells her he loves her will be a day to celebrate for the rest of her life, the tears she will cry will be the most beautiful tears any girl can shed, the smile she will give will be sent from heaven, the look in her eyes will stick to that moment, how she can tell him that she will born again in that moment.

how she can tell him that he is the guy she loved since the day she was born until the day of her death…

I forgot your face, voice, eyes, laugh, smile

I forgot , your smell, your scent

I forgot the feeling of your hand touch

I forgot my happiness with you

I forgot your name, your phone number

I forgot your words, your promises, your caring

I forgot the moon and the rain

I forgot the highways and roads

I forgot everything that is related to you

I also forgot my name

knowing the date and time of your death and when you reach happiness ecstasy you remember your death

standing on a clif and you want to fall down but you know if you did no one will be there to catch you

living perfect happiness, perfect joy, perfect understanding, perfect feelings but you know its all fake

reading  me like an open book, but feeling that you are not interested in this book

not missing you, or missing the good or bad times, not missing the smile, eyes, laugh but missing myself

wishing each moment you are mine, not wishing I’m yours coz I was!

wishing time would stop each time I’m with you to keep away from my death

waiting hell to turn into heaven… impossible

ever called someone “my heart” “my soul” “my life” and truly meant it,,, or truly felt it…

i mean, like they are the air you breath, they are that thing that keeps you alive, the thing that all science didnt know what it is, like they in control of every single beat your lil heart beats…

like they are why you are alive, and without them no living,

they say “at the end someone will come to show you why it didnt work out with anyone else” and they are this someone

that actually you forgot everything ever happened with you and everyone you ever knew and life just started when you met them,

when first time you felt that spark in your eyes, heart and soul…

and then you start imagining them taking one step away from you, when suddenly your heart stops beating so you take that thought away…

your mind keeps trying to be rational and tells you “you may not stay together” but you just dont care, is it because you want to live the moment or because your heart beats cant accept the idea, you dont know…

and her thoughts always take her back to you, to each word you told her to each move to each look to each smile…

to all the time you held her hands keeping them warm, to your hugs where she found peace and warmth

why she only appreciate it when she leaves, why she always come back??!!

when she is with you, she loses herself and  think of everything you did and said, maybe its her inner voice that pushes her away from you telling her that shes does not deserve all this

but you always take her back

she loves you she loves you not

you love her you love her not

would you take her back again, after breaking your heart again and again and again

her heart breaks each time she is away from you, each time you fight, each time she breaks your heart

her mind heart soul breath, everything is thinking of you, and asking for you again

wish she  can know if you still have all the love for her, if not, she want you to tell her

she want you to tell her that you don’t love her anymore that you don’t want her in your life anymore

maybe that would set her free

but

if you do, please forgive her, give her a last chance, take her between your arms tell her how much you love her and promise her that this time will be different

that will set her free, from everything else but you

with a smile on her face she is ready to give you her life

whats your answer for all this? does she deserve an answer? i dont think so…

she never treated him in a nice way, never appreciated the love he has for her

she thought with this much of love he can never be for someone else, he will be like a ring in her finger moves where ever she points

never thought how much it will hurt when a day comes and his love is over, when a girl comes to treat him good, appreciate what she got.

now she knows how much she hurt him before, how much she hurt everyone who loved her before, coz shes holding same pain

and still with all the pain she is having, with feeling the pieces of her heart breaking into a very small little pieces, she doesn’t know her true feelings for him.

she want to cry but cant get the tears out, she cant order her heart to stop hurting, to stop loving, why she cant control her heart anymore, is this true love or what?

she doesn’t know, and wondering… if shes not sure, could it be love? when we are in love we feel it, we breath it, it goes all over our body.

This is a pray for some mind and heart peace…

i cant dance, and never danced before, but i wanna dance with u, would u teach me how to dace?

would u give me my time til i learn or u will give up and leave me?

what if i got mad sometimes coz am doing the wrong steps?

what if i said i dont want to dance again coz am afraid i will get addicted to it?

would u take me back?

i cry when am dancing i cry when am not…

just take my hand, lead me to the dance floor, show me where i wanna be

he didn’t believe her when she said she loved him because he could see the lie in her eyes,

he didn’t believe her because he truly loved her and he could feel it wasn’t the same for her

he didn’t believe her because he didn’t want to get hurt by giving his heart to her

he didn’t believe her when she said she wanted him because he knew all what she wanted is spending time with him

he didn’t believe her when she said love doesn’t know when or how because he has an answer for all these questions

he didn’t believe her when she said she wanted to be with him because he knew he is not the one for her

he didn’t believe her when she asked him to stay because he knew she wouldn’t

he didn’t believe her when she pretended that she cares because he really cared

he was right with all his thoughts, she was wrong thinking he is like others she knew

he left because he didn’t want to break his heart, she stayed because she doesn’t have one

he left because he was thinking wise, she stayed because she didn’t think twice

he left because he was in love with her, she stayed because she wasn’t

he left because he wanted to spend his whole life with her, she stayed because she wanted to spend a day with him

he wanted everything from her, she wanted to set the rules

he was right she was wrong, he was in love she wasn’t he left but she stayed

well, i thought a lot what should i write today, blog about Jordan day isn’t just important for Jordanians but also for Jordanians friends and ppl who love Jordan

and so there was no way i should miss this event , i came out with an idea to write about most remarkable events that happened in 2009.2010 but as i have a bad memory i will just write what i remember, that good and bad

1. Shooting parts of transforms – revenge of the fallen – in Petra

2. King Abdullah Speach in Davos – “we had our own 9 / 11, the 9th of November 2005, were 3 bombs where set off in hotels we lost over 60 ppl over 100 wounded …. and you know i made my mind up then that we were not going to be defensive if we felt that ppl were going to target Jordan, we would target them, and my message is clear: as long as you continue to try and hurt the citizens of my country, we have the right to protect ourselves” min 18:00

3. #top50jo on twitter, a small idea that turned out into a big event that even Queen Rania participated in by posting on her twitter reasons why she loves Jordan, plus Mrs. Majd Shwaikeh Orange Jo mobile CEO. it was an idea to post in twitter what we most like about Jordan, the event became a video on CNN and Aramram.com

4. Our Nshama team, Basketball national team qualified to world cup final

5. Hearing a Story on the morning show “besaraha ma’ al wakeel” on radio fann fm “تحية إلى سائق التكسي الذي رأى العالم الأردني على الأرض فنزل من سيارته أخذ العلم قبلة وأعاده مكانه على السارية ” “for taxi driver for saw the Jordanian Flag on the floor, stepped out of his car, took the flag, kissed it and put it back on the flag pole”

5. dissolving the Parliament for the 2nd time in 10 years

6. Tawjihi results thing

7. Shooting the oscar winner movie the hurt locker in Jordan

8. Souq al Bokhreya fire

as i said, i have a bad memory, so please if you have anything to add, please feel free to do so

I’ve been always against our parliament and will always be!!

with all the shame in the world we “Jordanians” wish u more and more of shame that you truly deserve

Dissolving the parliament